It's Done
by triple baka
Summary: Karkat reflects on the final battle. Oneshot.


It's done.

You never thought you'd watch Lord English fall. You never thought the game would ever be won… You never thought that all of the obstacles that stood in your way would fall and that you would be granted the reward your team so desperately wished for.

But you never, in a thousand sweeps, thought you'd be starting this new world alone. You never thought your moirail, the one who managed to calm your never-ending rage, would be the one to kill your flush crush. You remember teal staining your hands, right at the start of the fight. You don't really remember much after, but you do remember attacking Gamzee. You remember deep purple everywhere when you were done with him.

You remember clearly the empty feeling you felt as the Condense came down. As you realized deep in your heart you were the last of your species left. That you were the last troll. And somehow you lived.

As you watch rain fall on the battlefield, washing away blood of every color, you wonder- why did you of all trolls live? You were a mutant, slated to be killed from birth. Your friends deserved life. Why didn't they get to live, why was it the mutant who got to go on to the reward your friends all worked so hard for?

You asked yourself "why" too many times to count. It was hard not to when every time you close your eyes, visions of your friends corpses filled your vision. Thoughts and ideas of what you could have done differently to change their fates.

You really hated your past self. Not in the romantic sense of the word like you thought when you were younger… Younger? No. That was only a few perigrees ago. You think. You cant even tell time in this forsaken place anymore. It's become nothing but a constant routine of "plan to fight, die, repeat".

One step forward and your foot hits something hard. You look down… Just another body. One of the many laying around you. You sort of feel bad for John- he came in with three friends but left with one. But you couldn't help but feel a bit bitter. He at least had someone by his side.

You had no one. You were truly alone. You got to be a god of a new world but why? Why couldn't you have someone too?

You never found the world fair though. You always felt as if it was always trying to one-up you. You guess that the world finally won… because you were alone.

You close your eyes and sigh. You watch John and Dave talk happily and another aching feeling rises in your chest. You know they'll never look at you the way they look at each other. You know that John could never like you the way you hate him. A pure, black hatred that makes your blood boil and makes you want to kiss him. He made that very clear…

You have to turn your head, feeling too bitter to look at them. You close your eyes and let the rain fall over you, wishing it could wash away the memories too. But you know it can't. Those are buried too deeply into your mind and soul to ever be erased.

You look down at your hands- the blood is now almost gone thanks to the rain. You close your eyes and for the first time that you can remember, you smile. You try thinking of the good talks with your friends. You never got to interact much in person, but remembering how many times Sollux blew your computer up or the times when Nepeta would shamelessly force her role plays unto you… You cant help but smile at their memories.

You realize now that the façade that you had built up over these past sweeps to protect your secret can now come down. There's nothing to hide anymore. No condense no drones… you are suddenly free.

And you don't know how to really take that. You chew on your lip, ignoring the stinging pain from your sharpened teeth, and think- Should you really be happy about everything being gone just because it makes your life easier? Just because you don't have to hide anymore?

You decide to sit on the cold ground beneath you, looking up at the rain falling from the sky. You debate it internally as you always did before- one side of you saying how pathetic you are and how weak you are. But for once, it seems as if the other side is winning- The side saying "It's ok to do something for yourself" "It's ok to be different"- its oddly comforting.

You hear Dave and John call for you. You turn and see them waving, John trying to hide the tears in his eyes. You wave back, resigned at this point to just be alone.

You're shocked when John motions for you to follow them. Follow them and aid them in creating a perfect world. You think about that for a moment and realize you could. The only two friends you have now are offering you to a life without the solitude you so desperately hated.

You didn't have to hide your red blood from them, you realized. You aren't a mutant to them. The same red runs through their veins as it does yours- you created their world, after all. So you put on your best "I hate you" face and agree with a few choice words.

John smiles at you and outstretches his hand, taking your own and leading you through the door before them. As the bright light surrounds you and you hold your friend's hand, you let the anger and bitterness that had accumulated over the sweeps go. You let it go and smile as you realize- this new world will be a place without hate.

Without discrimination.

And you're determined to make it so.

And as you hear the door close behind you, you swear you can hear their voices wishing you luck.


End file.
